Things I Never Did Before I Was A Dad

• I never felt like the hero of the world when I came home from work and a toddler squealed, "Daddy!"
• I never felt like the dregs of humanity after making that same toddler cry an hour later because I insisted that she put her diaper back on.
• I never struggled to maintain a straight face as a toddler's pouty lip pokes out when I later insist she stop taking her jammies off.
• I never had a boy call me and excitedly exclaim, "Dad, I made soup!"
• I never listened to the sounds of the night and wondered how I'd protect my family if one of those sounds came from an intruder.
• I never felt the sort of love that comes when my small child gives me a hug and says, "I ub you".
• I never found pacifiers, plastic animals or fruit snacks in the cushions of my couch, car or bed.
• I never bought so many band-aids, most of which will never cover a legitimate wound.
• I never knew how much worry a parent feels for children, even when they're young and healthy.
• I never removed slivers from so many little hands and feet.
• I never understood why children behave poorly in public. I still don't understand it but I'm now pretty sure it's not entirely the parents fault.
• I never wondered how to get Silly Putty out of carpet it had oozed into.
• I never held a sick child in my arms and prayed for them to feel better so we can both get some sleep.
• I never sent a child to his room.
• I never knew how a parent knows what to say to a child who has been sent to his room.
• I never knew how much of parenting is just making it up as you go along.
• I never held a slimy, sticky, gory, precious, newly born infant.
• I never knew how much debris a child leaves behind when merely passing through a room, yard, or vehicle.
• I never sat through a music recital with my heart bursting with pride and joy.
• I never had "There was an old woman who swallowed a fly" going through my head during a meeting at work.
• I never pinched so many noses, tummies and toes.
• I never read so many books out loud.
• I never caught so many crawdads, frogs, tadpoles and slugs.
• I never caught so many colds.
• I never shared so many bites of so many sandwiches.
• I never knew that dads like onions and spicy things so they don't have to share everything on their plate.
• I never wondered about the most appropriate response to the most inappropriate questions.
• I never knew how much time it takes to be a parent.
• I never felt such empathy for my own parents.
• I never gave and received so much love.

Helping the Homeless

I had a reunion with some old friends this week. I had forgotten about a lot of them, even though they've been homeless, some even living in cardboard boxes. Recently they've been exposed to the abuse of animals and children and I determined to find a better home for them. That their homelessness is the direct result of the birth of my daughter is no excuse for my neglect but it does help to explain. You see, I used to have a wonderful office in my home. I had a big, comfy chair, a place for my computer and, best of all, one whole wall with floor to ceiling bookshelves. It wasn't enough to hold all of my books and I had considered plans to expand across another wall but the birth of my daughter derailed those plans and forced the evacuation of my office. My twin sons took possession of that room and my beloved bookshelves became home to trucks, trains, tools, toys and a significantly younger genre of books.

My books were taken downstairs where they were put onto shelves in the entertainment center, dumped into boxes, stacked on top of other cabinets and generally neglected. Actually, neglect might have been a blessing. Those in the entertainment center became the objects of interest to curious boys and later a curious little girl. That same little girl also found the boxes full of paperbacks under my desk and took joy in pulling them out into a pile on the floor. That's when the other force of destruction entered our basement: bunnies. They are pretty much "ordinary rabbits" which means they love to chew. Fortunately, the book that took the brunt of their destruction was one I won't miss. But when I found an already often read Terry Pratchett on the floor, sans cover, I knew it was time to act.

As I pulled the boxes out and gathered my little library together I found myself remembering little details about the books, the authors, even things that happened in my life when I read the book. And one by one my old friends found new homes. Terry Pratchett, Pearl Buck, JRR Tolkien, Richard Feynman, Douglas Adams, Tom Clancy, Mark Twain, Neil Gaiman, Thomas Hardy, Bill Watterson, Scott Adams, Isaac Asimov, Shakespeare, Ray Bradbury, Earnest Hemingway, Stephen Crane, Gary Larsen, Ayn Rand, Orson Scott Card, Anne McCaffrey, Agatha Christie, Henrik Ibsen, Jules Verne, John Grisham, Gregory Maguire, H.G. Wells, Carl Sagan, Richard Adams, D.H. Lawrence, Amy Tan, Berke Breathed, Tennessee Williams, Michael Crichton, Chaim Potok, Stephen Hawking, etc, etc, etc. It was a struggle not to pause at nearly every book and read a paragraph, a page, or a chapter, but it took me years to read them all once (or twice, or several times for a few of them) and I needed to get them situated in one day. I even found a few that I haven't read but had put into my "to read" pile and never quite got around to them. At the end of the day I feel much better knowing all of these friends from my youth are in better accommodations and I have resolved to spend some quality time with each and every one of them over the next few years. I might even take a few of them to bed.